Fiona Kirby-Smith is a trauma counsellor, community leader, and one of the leads at Connect Church, Crosby — a neighbourhood in Scunthorpe often described as one of the most diverse, yet fragmented, in the region.

As someone who lives, works, and raises her family in the area, Fiona’s understanding of the community is both personal and professional. Through her trauma-informed counselling work and her leadership in the church, Fiona developed and delivered a series of sessions under the banner ‘Understanding Me, Understanding You’.

These events weren’t just about getting people together; they were about unpicking the root causes of misunderstanding — the trauma, fear, and stress that shape how we interact with one another.

By blending structured conversations, cultural exchange, and a strong foundation in trauma theory, Fiona’s sessions helped attendees reflect on how their behaviours — and the behaviours of others — are often protective responses to being misunderstood or unsafe.

Project Highlight: Cultural Food Sharing & Emotional Safety

One of the most memorable sessions invited attendees to bring a dish from their own culture, not just to share food, but to share meaning. Each person spoke about what the dish represented to them, what memories or traditions it carried, and why it mattered.

This act of sharing became a powerful conversation starter. People who had never spoken to each other before were suddenly connecting over pride, family stories, and cultural heritage.

The session created a visible emotional shift. People became more open and relaxed, and conversations flowed between individuals and groups who might otherwise never have crossed paths.

Through the lens of her trauma-informed approach, Fiona was able to guide participants gently through conversations about identity, emotion, and misunderstanding — using simple tools like food, empathy, and a safe space to facilitate deeper connections.

Fiona’s work has helped shift the narrative in Crosby, from fragmented communities to emerging connections. The impact of her sessions included:

Intercultural understanding:  Attendees developed a better appreciation for each other’s backgrounds, building respect and reducing suspicion.

Visible emotional transformation:  Fiona noted how body language changed once people felt seen, accepted, and safe.

Deeper relationships: Shared vulnerability led to stronger relational networks - people left feeling more connected, not just informed.

Unity without uniformity:  Cultural difference was not flattened or ignored - it was celebrated. Fiona emphasised that true unity comes from understanding, not assimilation.

These sessions gave life to Crosby’s community slogan:

“Crosby One: One Diverse Community Together.”

While the events were successful, Fiona is clear about the barriers to continued impact:

Funding: The biggest obstacle to repeating or expanding the work is financial.

Community demand: There is a clear appetite for more regular sessions. This is not a one-off solution, but a model people want to return to.

Scalability: Fiona believes the trauma-informed framework is replicable across schools, healthcare, the police, and local authorities — but only with proper training.

Educational gaps: Many people, including professionals, lack understanding of how trauma affects behaviour and communication. There is a pressing need for shared language and emotional awareness.

Fiona’s ambition is to see trauma-informed practice embedded deeply in the fabric of local life. She imagines a future where:

Today’s participants become tomorrow’s leaders, trained to facilitate and pass on the work.

A shared emotional language helps communities across Crosby and beyond de-escalate conflict and embrace difference.

Institutions prioritise understanding over punishment, creating systems that value emotional safety.

These events are no longer pilots but a regular, essential part of how communities connect and grow.

“We’re only just scratching the surface. But the potential? It’s huge. And we need to start replicating what’s already working — because that’s something we haven’t always done well.” – Fiona Kirby-Smith